Sunday, July 12, 2015

Still alive, still breathing

I've been thinking about this blog a lot recently, it's like an online, very public journal. A place where I can put thought and they may drift out into the world, and may never be read, but they're no longer confined to my head. 

This blog has been dormant for well over a year. No regrets there, I'm sure that there would have been plenty to write, but that's not the point. 

I have reached the end of my first year of my second degree. This blog went through my first degree so it might as well do the second one. As my previous post (Jan '14...) said, I am now training with SWYM. I took the leap to start a BA (Hons) degree in Applied Theology with Youth Ministry. I am loving it but it is so hard! It may surprise you to know that a science degree does not prepare you for theology. I have had to spend a lot of time rewiring my brain and changing how I think and write. I am grateful that it is all essay and presentation based and that there isn't a single essay in sight, except maybe the end of module feedback forms! (joke!) 

To be able to start to get my teeth into the Bible and into my own faith has been a real challenge. You go from accepting everything and going with it to questioning, often in a good way, why you believe what you've been told. We've had to tackle questions like "how literal is Genesis 1 and 2?", "is everything in the Bible historically accurate?", "is everything in the Bible God's word?". Tough, sometimes controversial, and mostly in my mind without firm answers. But what we're all (I think) coming back to is God Is Real. The Bible shows us who He is, and that is an amazing gift. We are wanting evidence and proof, my science background needs evidence for it to be true. When our evidence is proved wrong, such as some of the historical events, the world thinks they've disproved the existence of God. The books of the Bible were not written at the time of Twitter or Facebook or Google. Moses didn't tweet "still in the desert, manna not running out, lost, lol" (because I think Moses may have put a lol!), there wasn't even someone running after them with a parchment and quill "excuse me Moses, can you repeat that last line for me?". Our world today expects everything to be told as it happened, and for the most part it can. In tragic accidents it is become possible to piece events back together minute by minute. Is there not a possibility that errors crept into the accounts as they were told over time. Good men became great men and great men became like gods? This is all speculation, and not even something that I would necessarily fully agree with, but it's where my studies are starting to take me. 

If you've made it this far, well done. It wasn't meant to go quite in that direction! Life is treating me well and God is treating me better! 

For now that is all, but there are other thoughts rattling around, so hopefully this blog will awaken!

God bless,

Ruth

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

2013

Me again. 

It is the 1st January 2014, and I thought, as is common practice now, that I would write a reflection over the year that has just past. Plus, it seems like quite a good way to procrastinate from doing my assignments!

I'm not sure how this is going to work, so it may be a bit hit and miss.

Work

Probably the biggest change that has happened to me this year is my job. At the start of the year I was working as a secondary school science technician in a north Bristol school. It wasn't what I wanted to do with my life, but post-degree when the job market was a little thin on science jobs, it was as good as anything. I was entering my third year of doing the job, and finding it getting more and more stressful. When I'd started, I'd said that I wouldn't stay for more than two years, but that didn't quite work out. I worked with some great people, but the work and the school environment was getting tougher. 

Around March, I started looking at alternative jobs, and someone mentioned Ministry to me, church ministry. The idea initially terrified me, as I don't feel like I can preach, and ministry automatically means preaching doesn't it? As I thought and prayed more about it, and chatted to friends, I started to think about youth ministry, and training to become a full time youth worker. A SWYM (South West Youth Ministries) trainee was placed in my area. I got to meet him and have a chat with him about what SWYM was like. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that this was quite possibly my calling in life. Plus, this trainee kept pushing me to apply. 

So I did, and in May had an interview for the Be Transformed course. I had attended SWYM camps when I was younger and was slightly shocked to find out that the guy who heads SWYM up now recognised me, 10 years on! Anyway, I got a provisional place on the course, and was ready to hand in my notice. But I had to wait. Until I had a placement sorted, there was still a risk that I wouldn't be able to train and would remain a  science technician. 

Things were getting close to the end of the academic year and the deadline for handing in my notice. I had wanted to stay in Bristol. My life was now back in Bristol, and I didn't really want to leave, but after looking at the only suitable placement, it became clear that God had other ideas, and that I was going to move away. 

Things then moved very rapidly. I handed in my notice, without a placement, in the faith that God was going to provide. So I had no job, and no idea what I was doing in September. I got a call about some potential placements, and wanted to look at one in Torquay. The only problem being that I was going on holiday very soon after the term ended, and we wanted to get things sorted. We managed to arrange a visit and interview on the Sunday, when I was going away on the Monday. Talk about manic!! Dad and I drove down to Torquay, visited the church, met some of the congregation, went to a picnic that was rained off, then went back to Bristol ready for our holiday. Lets face it. After disappointments in the past, I wasn't getting my hopes up, but I had felt that things had gone well, and it was now in Gods hands. One week into the holiday the news came that they wanted me and I had a placement, hooray!! God provides. In September, I started my training course, and moved, in mid-September, to Torquay, Torbay, UK. That's another change that has happened this year. 

I'm so pleased that there are people in my life who encouraged me, and spoke to me about this. It is the right choice, and I am so happy. This is where God has called me, and the role he wants me to do. 

Home

As I have mentioned already I have moved. I was living with my parents in Bristol, mostly happy, but safe. I am now living on my own in a little two room bungalow, provided for by the church. It was, like my placement, a little hit and miss, and I did think that I would be starting my placement in a tent or on someone's floor. But during induction with SWYM everything fell into place!

It is a little weird living on my own at times. I have to remember to cook, shop and do my washing, along with everything else. But so far, so good! I do find myself talking aloud a lot though, and making more phone calls that I used to. 

Holiday

This years holiday was a big one. We had been planning it for a year, and was glad when it finally came about. My family go on canal boat holidays, as is tradition, but this years trip was a little bigger than other years. This year we boated around the London canals, up the rivers Lee and Stort, and ended with a trip up the tidal river Thames, from Limehouse basin to Brentford, past a lot of the iconic places, such as Tower Bridge, the London Eye, the Houses of Parliament, and Battersea Power Station. Going up the Thames requires a lot of planning, such as finding a boat company who would let us do it, making sure we had everything we needed: life jackets, serrated knife, VHF radios and licence, and lots and lots of rope! Plus, making notes of things to be aware of along the way. But it was all worth it. The passage was scary in places, and I don't think any of us are in a rush to do it again. Steering the boat yourself is very different to being a trip boat passenger.  But we can tick it off, and we have some great photos and memories. 

Car

Possibly a lot less interesting and significant change, but I brought a new car in February. The first car the I have ever brought. My first car was a 10 year old Renault Clio diesel, that used to be a driving school car, when my dad was a driving instructor. But it was getting old, and I had been told that there were a lot of expensive potential problems lurking, such as with the turbo, that were more expensive that the car was valued at. So I bit the bullet, and started looking. I found a nice Vauxhall Astra, and got rid of the Clio. That was a sad moment! But I now have a different car, that will hopefully get me about. 

I think that's it for now. Obviously, 365 days is a long time, and a lot has happened, from trying to get a friends fish tank home in the back of my car (it didn't fit, and we had to get my dad to help!), to a friends wedding, to many other things, I have only covered a small amount briefly. But I thought that it would be a good thing to do!

So that's it for now, who know's when I'll next be back!

God bless,

Ruth

Thursday, June 20, 2013

How big is your family?

I come from quite a small family; I have my mum and dad, one brother, two aunts, one uncle, one cousin and one grandma. 

But I was realising today how lucky I am. I am a Christian, and that means that I am blessed with an extended family. Not just with my present church family, but also with members from my previous churches. The blessing that you receive from God through your church family does not necessarily end when you move on from that church. I have lost count of the number of Christians I include in my own "family", and the love that I feel, the support as I'm making decisions, fighting battles etc. 

Currently, I am looking at quite a big career change, I'm keeping details vague at the moment until things are a little more set in stone. But I found out today that the church that I grew up in is supporting me, praying for me, that I am still part of that family. This is the church that has helped me to this point, from becoming a Christian, helping me through some tough times whilst I was growing up, praying for me as I left for University, and through-out my university years, then supporting my decision and feeling to move on to a different church, with their blessing. And now, four years after moving on, they are still involved in my life, praying and supporting. 

This has all gone a little waffle-y, it made sense in the car home. But I guess what I'm trying to say, is that, no matter how large of small, normal or dysfunctional, your family is, you can always find a family in Christ, a group of people that God has lined up for you. And yes, there will be some "family" members that you never see, that you get together with for Christmas, or that you vaguely follow on Facebook or Twitter, (I do follow two of my family on twitter, one non-immediate family member). But accept the blessings that God wants to pour out through your family in Christ, because, more often than not, it will exceed your expectations, but meet your needs, as I mentioned in the last post. 

That's it now, I think.

Take care,

God bless,

Ruth x

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Needs

I know that it has been forever (well nearly!) since I last posted, but I felt prompted to come home and write this, so we'll see how far I get before I have to go to sleep!

I was driving home from the youth club that I help at tonight, praying and chatting to God. (I have no idea what other car drivers think of me!) Rain started falling on my windscreen, and I said, out loud "why is it raining again?", when I had a thought. 

It's raining because God knows that plants need water, that birds, animals, us, all need water. Without water there would be no life. God is providing for the plants. He made the sun shine today so that the plants could create food. He made it rain today so that the plants had water. He made the bees and other insects so that the plants could reproduce, so that there would be more plants, more food for us, for animals. He provides what the plants need. A plant doesn't have to worry, to forage, everything is provided. 

So it is the same for us. Our God knows what we need, no, not the Ferrari, the millionaire husband and the jet set life, but the food, the water, the companionship and friendship, the shelter, the many, many other needs that we have. Two Bible passages came to mid the more I thought about it. The first is incredibly well known, from Psalm 23:
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
The second is from Matthew 6:
 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
With need, can come worry, the direction the second passage goes towards. Where am I going to get..., what about..., but God tells us to trust in Him and he will provide. As he was providing the rain for the plants this evening. 

And so I have seen it in my life. We were rejoicing at church tonight, that a family had found a house in the area that they wanted to move into, and that offers had been accepted on their house and this new house. God wanted them to move, so he provided for their need. 

God willing, I am hopefully moving on this September to start a full time training course to become a youth worker. But this means giving up all the roles that I am currently in. I am trusting the God will provide for me needs. But he doesn't just provide for my needs, but for the needs of families, friends, and Churches. Where there is need, he meets it. And he was showing me this again last Sunday. Someone who has been at our church for 6 months felt prompted to start with the children's work. Without either of us knowing it, she has been moved to a position where she can fill the role that I will be leaving in September. God was moving in this situation, moving people to fill needs, without us talking about it, worrying about it, he was there and provided. 

I know, deep in my heart that God is always going to be there for me. He will fulfil my needs, and will guide me to where I am needed, as part of His Church. I acknowledge that there will be times when worry and doubt may creep in, but I trust my God. He is in control, he sees the bigger picture, he sees needs I haven't even though of yet, and will be there with provision ready for me, for us, as one body. 

Sometimes we are the answer to need. Something we have, a skill, a possession, a situation, is the answer to another prayer. God can create something out of nothing, but He chooses to use us, and if we listen, and trust, he can use us to fulfil a need, just as he fulfils ours. 

I'm going to leave it there for now. This is more sermon-y that a lot of my previous blogs, but it is what I believe God wanted me to write.

God bless,

Ruth

Monday, December 12, 2011

Wait

I don't know if any of you have children, or have ever worked with children, but there is one thing that I've notice is difficult for them: waiting.

I do a variety of work with children, as a Beaver Scout leader (6 - 8 year olds) and Sunday School (4 - 11 year olds). I've lost track of the number of times that I have felt like I've been pulled in a hundred different directions when the children have all wanted my attention and I've only been able to deal with one at a time. And I've uttered the dreaded word: Wait. Something that is difficult to understand. They want to know why I can't help them that second, why they can have the thing that they've requested right now, why must they wait.

The same is true in my walk with God. Except this time, I'm the child wanting to know why this hasn't happened, or why I can't have that now. When will the perfect job appear, my career path be revealed, other issues much closer to my heart. Waiting is sometimes the hardest thing. I've learnt over my many years of walking with the Lord, that His timing is never wrong. There reason something didn't happen is because... I've needed to grow more, experience something, move somewhere else, learn patience (isn't that a hard one!!).

I follow someone called Louie Giglio on twitter, and recently he tweeted "Waiting is not wasted when we are waiting on the Lord. God works while we wait." Followed by "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14"

"God works while we wait": he is moulding us, challenging us, changing us to be more like Christ. Waiting is part of the long journey. What do you think a child would be like if they got everything they wanted straight away?

Christmas is only a week away, a time when we remember the birth of Christ. (On a side note, I was delighted that my Beavers seemed to know about the Christmas story, it's an important story that needs to be shared). Bit it is also a time for giving and receiving gifts. That period of time between Christmas eve, and Christmas morning seemed like such a long time, having to wait until you could find out what was hiding behind the coloured paper. The gift seems that much better if you've been able to wait, to have patience.

So we may not always see what is in our future, and why we must wait, but I trust and love God. I know he has my best interests at heart, so like the children that I work with, I must learn that my prayers and requests will be answered in time, just not always right now.

God bless,

Ruth x

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Avoiding the most talked about topic of the day

I was going to write a blog post today, then I actually sat down to write it, and couldn't think of a thing to write. 


I could always revert to one of my favourite topics, Formula 1.


This week, Kimi Raikkonen announced that he was making a come back to Formula 1, about 2 years after he left to try new things such as WRC and NASCAR. I greeted this news with mixed feelings: I have followed Kimi's career since 2001, when he was a rookie, driving for Sauber and making quite an impression on the bosses at Mclaren, and myself. It was with joy, excitement and tension that I watch him have good races and bad races, and get with in touching distance of a World title in 2005, before he lost it to Fernando Alonso. 


Then in 2007, he final won the World Championship, much to the disappointment of British fans everywhere, as Lewis Hamilton lost it by 1 point in the final race. I remember watching the race back in second year. It was an afternoon race, and one of my housemates and I decided that we would be late to church, just so that we could see live the end of the championship. I couldn't believe it when Kimi won, and then we had to leave, arriving at church just in time for the sermon I think. I also think that one of the guys on the sound desk has also been following the race so that most of the congregation knew the result before we got there. 


You know what, having go this far I have no idea whether I blogged about Kimi winning at the time or not. Ah well, I'll carry on anyway. 


Things didn't go so well for Kimi in following years, and it wasn't much of a surprise when, despite still being in contract, an opportunity opened up in World Rally Championship for him and he took it. 


And now he's back! I love the reaction I get when I tell people at motor sport event or motor sport fans, like my former driving instructor that I'm a Kimi fan, they groan, and dispaire. Why when we have great British talent, did I choose a bloke who in a lot of peoples opinions has no personality and barely opens his mouth when he talks? To be honest, back in 2001, I picked up my dads Formula 1 magazine and just looked through to find who I thought most interesting (or cute, knowing me at that age...). And followed him ever since. 


When he left the sport, he did an interview discussing who he tipped as a future World Champion. He suggested this young gun, a kid as he was when he first started who'd managed to make quite an impression early on. Now two years on, and 2 World Championships under his belt, you can see that Kimi's judgement of Sebastian Vettel was correct. I just hope that his judgement to come back to Formula 1, with all the barriers that can face any driver coming back will have, is the right one.


And who will I support? If Kimi and Sebastian happen to be fighting for a win, who would I want to win? Hmm...


There you go, a whole blog about Kimi, sorry for that. I hope that one person manages to make it to the end :)


And I didn't mention the strike once... oops!


Take care,


God bless,


Ruth x

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Recently I've mostly been...

Well hello! I'm still here.


I've been thinking (no insults please!), and I came to a conclusion: when I first set up this blog, at the insistence of a few of my friends, it was to keep people updated on what has been happening. Most of my readers then were the people regularly mentioned in my posts because they were there. Now that I'm further away from most of my friends, now is the time that I should be using more. Admittedly I think that my life is a lot less interesting, and my spelling has got worse(!!), there are still plenty of things that I could blog about.


For instance, I am now regularly helping with the church youth club every Thursday. We get anything from 6 youth, to 25+ coming along, mostly from the estate our church is based on, coming along to play pool, video games, air hockey or just hang out, with a short "God Spot". 


I am now driving, having passed my test in February, and am very grateful, that without too much traffic, my 1 hour 35 minute bus journey, has dropped to about a 40 minute drive, in the warm. 


I finally have a pet, after a lot of begging during my younger years, I went out in May with two friends to at pet shop, and came back with an eight week old Syrian hamster, who I names Tiberius. If I ever get another I'm choosing an easier name, like Joe, as my hamster is regularly called Tibs out of laziness!! He's a lovely hamster, who will constantly try to escape given half a chance and bite me if I don't pay attention... but his antics are very entertaining, even if it did cause a few sleep disturbed nights in the beginning with a squeaky wheel.


Some things haven't changed. I am still Formula 1 mad, even if I now support that unknown up and coming 24 year old (how can a 2 times World Champion be younger than me?) Sebastian Vettel. 


I'm still working as a science technician at a school, with all the madness that can come with it, as well as the strange requests. I bought 5kg of salt and a few bars of chocolate early on Thursday morning and Friday saw me grating chocolate, and making fake urine! What a combination!! 


The Beaver Scout colony at which I'm the Assistant leader is doing well. Six to eight year olds can really tire you out though! We recently has a Doctor Who in Space themed sleepover with two other groups, involving a lot of craft, and plenty of glue on the tables, chairs and floors, and lots of outdoor activities. On the night hike only one person fell over...me! How embarrassing. The good thing was that the Beavers had a good time, and were tired at the end, not just us adults.


I miss a lot of the social life that came with being at University. I don't have as many friends that live near here in Bristol, but having a car does help! An I don't see my friends who are living in places around the country as much as I would like. 


I'm going to attempt to post at least once a week, that shouldn't be too ambitious I hope, just to keep everyone informed. It's also nice to have a record so that I can see what I have done, and how God is working in my life. I'm in a supportive church, where I'm starting to feel like I'm part of it, not just an outsider, and I'm anticipating that next stage of my life that He has in store, where ever or whatever it may be!


Take care,


God Bless,


Ruth x