Tuesday Cell

Its been two days since cell group. I've been meaning and wanting to write about it, but I've really struggled to find away to communicate it effectively. I'm going to try my best now, but who knows what will happen.

The main point of the evening was just to spend a lot of time in prayer and worship and really come open hearted to God and honestly and openly talk to Him and meet with Him.

We started with a time of worship, writing a letter to him and just thanking and praising Him.

We were asked about things that we would like prayer for, things that we felt needed prayer for. I had two major points weighing on my mind. One was a connection with God, something that I have felt slipping and fading, the other being mental healing. We were then asked if we felt more comfortable praying in small groups, which I did. At that time, even though there were only 7 of us, I felt like that was still too many. So we split, with Dan, Dan, Ben and Matt in one group and Rachel, Adam and I in the other group.

TBH, I was dreading it, I had to be open and honest, and that meant revisiting painful things. Not something anyone wanted to do. I had been vauge about the cause of the emotional hurt in the larger group, and it was good to feel able to tell the others what was going on. I didn't manage it with out the inevitable tears but there was so much love and comfort around me I felt safe to do that and almost forget the situation and focus on God and the prayers.

I don't know how long we were praying for. But the more we prayed to more everything changed. This is the really difficult bit to explain. When we felt ready to finish praying we did. Adam asked me how I felt. I felt drained, empty. The really strange thing was, whilst I was vaugly aware of what the main prayer points were, it was, and still is, very difficult to focus on them. It was always a small trigger that could set my mind off, but it no longer feels that way. We then prayed for a filling and restoring for me. Things felt different.

We then went on to pray for Rachel and Adam for the various things that they needed.

The connection feels more there. The knowledge that I always held hasn't changed. Just the feeling and my heart.

I hope that this conveys everything clearly. I am sorry about the fact that some parts of this have been vauge but I hope that the general points are there.

Until next time...

Clare xxx