It is fair to say that things haven't be going brilliantly well for me at the moment. I've have a series of doctors appointments and a blood test to confirm a diagnosis. It has been playing on my mind a bit, and today, the final diagnosis came through as being the same as what was suspected. Please forgive me for being vauge, but I really don't want to write what it is. It's not life threatening but is life altering. I have been told by the doctors to lose weight...ah. But as I will waffle on about later, I have an amazing group of people surrounding me who are supporting and helping in various ways.
I have friends who are supporting and praying for me even thought some of them are unsure of the difference they are making. Believe me, it is making a difference, a huge difference, whether you can see it or not. I have been so blessed by the people placed in my life, who are being so amazing!
All the troubles and hardships will make us stronger when we get through them. They can show us our friends, and can remind us to let others help, and where our help comes from. Yes there are times when we have to fight the world and ourselves to continue, when we have those massive struggles but have to keep going, and follow the light at the end of that tunnel. There are times when it feels like everything is dark, but then you realise that there are glimmers of light breaking through the darkness, the light coming from our friends, those that love and care
about us, that walk with us, supporting, guiding, helping and sometimes being very honest with us and telling us when we are being stupid. Our brightest light comes from God, who sent Jesus into the world, to be light, and chase the darkness away, how amazing is that.
I know that there are always going to be times in my life that are going to be hard, that's part of life, but I also know that I have a God who loves me, friends who love me and that things will get better.
I hope that this makes sence. Thank you to all those who have supported me, I won't name you, but you know who you are!!
Clare xxx
Friday, April 11, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Space
Not the cold vacuum, but stopping, having a break. By the end of term, life can get a bit frantic, life can get on top of you, and a break is greatly required.
I was looking forward to coming home, especially as I haven't been back since Christmas. My first day back home, I went to a retreat day in preparation for Holy Week. One of the most useful things about the day was not the teaching, but just the quiet, the stillness, the time to "stop". It was raining, but that didn't bother me, and I spend time in the garden, just walking around, thinking, sorting out my thoughts and listening to "The Stand" and "Awesome God". It was good to give God some space.
Life seems to be constantly busy now, for everyone. People are working, then house keeping, with less and less time left for socialising, resting etc. There are times when I feel that we need to take a breather. One of my friends facebook statuses was ...is taking a deep breath ready for a busy week. It does often feel like we are diving into busyness and sometimes even trying to swim against the tide.
The creation story, as most people know has 7 days, the 7th being a rest day. I believe this is for a reason. Whether you believe in God or not, we need that 7th day to collect our thoughts and catch our breath. But in this world, when we work everyday of the week, we are removing that rest day. And we are suffering, the world is suffering.
I'm not sure where all this has come from, but I feel it's important. In a society where more and more people are suffering from stress, depression, other illnesses like that, we should be noticing this trend that working too much is bad for our health. So as we head towards Easter, maybe we should take this opportunity to slow down and take a breather.
And on a totally unrelated note, fish.
Ok, hope I haven't offended anyone, said anything too factually incorrect, or talked a load of jibberish!!
Take care, God bless,
Clare xxx
I was looking forward to coming home, especially as I haven't been back since Christmas. My first day back home, I went to a retreat day in preparation for Holy Week. One of the most useful things about the day was not the teaching, but just the quiet, the stillness, the time to "stop". It was raining, but that didn't bother me, and I spend time in the garden, just walking around, thinking, sorting out my thoughts and listening to "The Stand" and "Awesome God". It was good to give God some space.
Life seems to be constantly busy now, for everyone. People are working, then house keeping, with less and less time left for socialising, resting etc. There are times when I feel that we need to take a breather. One of my friends facebook statuses was ...is taking a deep breath ready for a busy week. It does often feel like we are diving into busyness and sometimes even trying to swim against the tide.
The creation story, as most people know has 7 days, the 7th being a rest day. I believe this is for a reason. Whether you believe in God or not, we need that 7th day to collect our thoughts and catch our breath. But in this world, when we work everyday of the week, we are removing that rest day. And we are suffering, the world is suffering.
I'm not sure where all this has come from, but I feel it's important. In a society where more and more people are suffering from stress, depression, other illnesses like that, we should be noticing this trend that working too much is bad for our health. So as we head towards Easter, maybe we should take this opportunity to slow down and take a breather.
And on a totally unrelated note, fish.
Ok, hope I haven't offended anyone, said anything too factually incorrect, or talked a load of jibberish!!
Take care, God bless,
Clare xxx
Monday, February 25, 2008
Our God is Amazing!
I make no apologise for the highly God filled nature of this post!
When I was younger, I went through the whole girly teen magazine phase. One of the features every fortnight or month or whatever was the horoscopes. If I squinted, they could probably apply to me, but there were days when, not only was the horoscope wrong, it was very improbable that the future as told by this horoscope could happen! However yesterday, there were two separate instances when the sermon at church and my daily bible reading hit right where I was, were exactly what I needed to hear at that time, even though both the sermon and the bible verse would have been thought about and written without any knowledge of what I'm going through and weeks if not months before this moment in time.
If I'm honest, things have been a little bleak over the past 4 or so days. But I have been provided with some fantastic friends who have helped me to keep going. My faith was not at it's strongest, lets be honest, it was hard to pray and the words from the Bible weren't really sinking in. The sermon last night was on worship, and turning our focus back to God. It was a good sermon anyway, but as I said earlier, met me where I am.
I know that having been a Christian for as long as I have, I should expect the unexpected, but there are still times when God surprises me.
And just to finish, Philippians 4:12-13 says: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
God Bless
Ruth xx
When I was younger, I went through the whole girly teen magazine phase. One of the features every fortnight or month or whatever was the horoscopes. If I squinted, they could probably apply to me, but there were days when, not only was the horoscope wrong, it was very improbable that the future as told by this horoscope could happen! However yesterday, there were two separate instances when the sermon at church and my daily bible reading hit right where I was, were exactly what I needed to hear at that time, even though both the sermon and the bible verse would have been thought about and written without any knowledge of what I'm going through and weeks if not months before this moment in time.
If I'm honest, things have been a little bleak over the past 4 or so days. But I have been provided with some fantastic friends who have helped me to keep going. My faith was not at it's strongest, lets be honest, it was hard to pray and the words from the Bible weren't really sinking in. The sermon last night was on worship, and turning our focus back to God. It was a good sermon anyway, but as I said earlier, met me where I am.
I know that having been a Christian for as long as I have, I should expect the unexpected, but there are still times when God surprises me.
And just to finish, Philippians 4:12-13 says: I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
God Bless
Ruth xx
Saturday, February 16, 2008
The Next Instalment...
As quite a few of my friends have blogged, I kind of feel like I should.
So what's been happening?
Well, lectures have restarted, and seem interesting, if a little hard in place. For example, we had a whole lecture on opening cells and separating the contents, including using a centrifuge. Included in all of that was the physics and equations behind it... oh dear!! But we are looking at things that are more relevant to my course and chosen career path.
The application grant for my summer project was completed and sent off over a week ago, which is good. It is to do an 8 week summer project working with RNase E, found in E. Coli, for which the crystal structure of it was found by my project supervisor. If we get the grant it should be a good experience, as well as working in an interesting field of research.
Ok, non-sciencey people can start reading again. It's been quite a socially active week, with people coming round, or us going out nearly every day this week, including seeing the UPBB playing and going to a kid's party, thrown by Paul. Although, I get the feeling that most children wouldn't be playing monopoly!!
Tonight, I am going to the launch of Student Alpha at King's which is very exciting. There's not much planned for the next few weeks, just hopefully trying to keep on top of work, and understand it all!!
TTFN
Clare xxx
So what's been happening?
Well, lectures have restarted, and seem interesting, if a little hard in place. For example, we had a whole lecture on opening cells and separating the contents, including using a centrifuge. Included in all of that was the physics and equations behind it... oh dear!! But we are looking at things that are more relevant to my course and chosen career path.
The application grant for my summer project was completed and sent off over a week ago, which is good. It is to do an 8 week summer project working with RNase E, found in E. Coli, for which the crystal structure of it was found by my project supervisor. If we get the grant it should be a good experience, as well as working in an interesting field of research.
Ok, non-sciencey people can start reading again. It's been quite a socially active week, with people coming round, or us going out nearly every day this week, including seeing the UPBB playing and going to a kid's party, thrown by Paul. Although, I get the feeling that most children wouldn't be playing monopoly!!
Tonight, I am going to the launch of Student Alpha at King's which is very exciting. There's not much planned for the next few weeks, just hopefully trying to keep on top of work, and understand it all!!
TTFN
Clare xxx
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Two hours sleep...
does not set you up for a productive day!! I can be very silly sometimes. But there is reason, not just seeing how long it takes for my body to give up, although it is trying, very hard.
I was having a conversation with one of my friends, and we were talking about some of the things we wanted to do, one of which, for me, was watch a sunrise. It is one of those targets that is achievable with just a small amount of effort. So I decided to do it, I have a week off from uni, nothing to get up for, take the opportunity whilst I can, and go watch the sunrise...on my own...ok not such a great plan. So I ask Ben and Sarah if they were interested, and surprisingly they were :). A plan was formed!! SO this morning, at 5:30, having gone to bed at 3:30...woops, I got up. We left at around 6:30 to head to the sea front, being the best place to watch. And it was worth it, even if I'm now very tired, and will probably sleep for a week. It was nice to spend some time with friends, even if it was a little chilly, and watch the sun as it climed up the sky, spreading light and warmth to the world!
Lent started today, and instead of giving up something, it was chocolate last year, remember? That was hard! I've decided to take something up, reading the Bible everyday, because, I will admit, that isn't my strong point. I have three different sources so hopefully I can keep it up. I also hope that putting it on here will alert people to it, and that you will help encourage me, guide me etc, into something that I hope to continue for more that the 40 days of lent. Because last year, after lent I started eating chocolate again, this year I want to keep it up.
I think I've rambled on for long enough. Just to warn you I haven't re-read this so who knows what I've put!!
And thanks to the grammar police. :P
Clare xxx
I was having a conversation with one of my friends, and we were talking about some of the things we wanted to do, one of which, for me, was watch a sunrise. It is one of those targets that is achievable with just a small amount of effort. So I decided to do it, I have a week off from uni, nothing to get up for, take the opportunity whilst I can, and go watch the sunrise...on my own...ok not such a great plan. So I ask Ben and Sarah if they were interested, and surprisingly they were :). A plan was formed!! SO this morning, at 5:30, having gone to bed at 3:30...woops, I got up. We left at around 6:30 to head to the sea front, being the best place to watch. And it was worth it, even if I'm now very tired, and will probably sleep for a week. It was nice to spend some time with friends, even if it was a little chilly, and watch the sun as it climed up the sky, spreading light and warmth to the world!
Lent started today, and instead of giving up something, it was chocolate last year, remember? That was hard! I've decided to take something up, reading the Bible everyday, because, I will admit, that isn't my strong point. I have three different sources so hopefully I can keep it up. I also hope that putting it on here will alert people to it, and that you will help encourage me, guide me etc, into something that I hope to continue for more that the 40 days of lent. Because last year, after lent I started eating chocolate again, this year I want to keep it up.
I think I've rambled on for long enough. Just to warn you I haven't re-read this so who knows what I've put!!
And thanks to the grammar police. :P
Clare xxx
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Truth Time
Ok, I need to be honest about this, as hard as it is. I am struggling quite a bit at the moment, with "keeping my chin up" and "staying positive", when revision is nasty. It's a stupid thing, but it's when I'm tired, looking at exam papers and despairing, that old thoughts and feeling come back. And I really hope that good thoughts will come and over come them. I've got some great friends, but I ask if you are reading this and are Christian, can you please pray for me and my exams, that I will get thought them in one piece.
Now to make it sound like a news report!! :P (can you tell that I really don't want to learn about PCR??)
Firstly, the sky is pink. This is nothing to worry about, and will pass in about an hour, by which point it will be dark.
Secondly, I can confirm that the light house on the seafront has always been black and white, but Third, I'm sure that if you want it in red and white you could photoshop it!!
Fourth, My Japanese is done, finished, over!! I just really hope I passed, I think there's a good chance I have!
Fifth, there has been a spieght of grammar police checks happening, victims of which have included "The Whom" and "Doctor Whom". And this report will probably be stopped, checked, corrected and found guilty against crimes against punctuation.
Six, and most exciting, I have a possible placement for summer research here at the University! It will be looking at inhibiting RNase-E in E. coli. (does anyone know what I'm on about??)
And finally, this reporter is convinced that she has forgotten to add something, but she's sure it doesn't matter.
For all those that are revising, and have exams, all the best.
See told you it was dark!!
And Dan, great lamb last night!!
Clare signing off now,
good night, well evening, ish...what, its only 5:25???
Clare xx
Now to make it sound like a news report!! :P (can you tell that I really don't want to learn about PCR??)
Firstly, the sky is pink. This is nothing to worry about, and will pass in about an hour, by which point it will be dark.
Secondly, I can confirm that the light house on the seafront has always been black and white, but Third, I'm sure that if you want it in red and white you could photoshop it!!
Fourth, My Japanese is done, finished, over!! I just really hope I passed, I think there's a good chance I have!
Fifth, there has been a spieght of grammar police checks happening, victims of which have included "The Whom" and "Doctor Whom". And this report will probably be stopped, checked, corrected and found guilty against crimes against punctuation.
Six, and most exciting, I have a possible placement for summer research here at the University! It will be looking at inhibiting RNase-E in E. coli. (does anyone know what I'm on about??)
And finally, this reporter is convinced that she has forgotten to add something, but she's sure it doesn't matter.
For all those that are revising, and have exams, all the best.
See told you it was dark!!
And Dan, great lamb last night!!
Clare signing off now,
good night, well evening, ish...what, its only 5:25???
Clare xx
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Sorry
...I haven't blogged recently and that I've been a bit grouchy. My stress levels have been through the roof, mainly caused by a poster group project that we had to do, that virtually consumed my life some days. We seemed to have issue after issue, weren't entirely sure what we had to do, and still had to put it together by the due date yesterday morning. But remarkably everything seemed to come together and we all got over 90% for it, which was nice, made it more worth it. Today I had my Japanese Reading and Listening exams, and was convinced they weren't going to go very well, and had just about upgraded myself from a fail to a scraped pass when I entered the exam. Even doing a review at the beginning of the exam scared me, but it went well, my brain co-operated and the answers were mostly there. Thank you to those that knew about the exam and were praying, with out a doubt it helped!!
Life is generally pottering along, having to fight the dark days more than usual, and remember the good in life. My raised stress levels mean that everything gets to me that little bit more. I become that bit more clingy, cuddling teddies more often... :P but it helps, and the love and support that I have around me, makes life easier.
I still have more exams to come, but I'm hoping that things will ease of a bit, and the I'll have a chance to catch up with myself at the end of the exams before starting the next slog. Also that I will stop feeling so drained and tired all the time. I wanted to go to church on Sunday but didn't cos I felt so tired.
Hope that the positives have come through ok, because are are many, but I felt I had to voice the negatives so that I'm no longer carrying them on my own.
Ok, that's enough for now,
Until next time...
Clare xxx
Life is generally pottering along, having to fight the dark days more than usual, and remember the good in life. My raised stress levels mean that everything gets to me that little bit more. I become that bit more clingy, cuddling teddies more often... :P but it helps, and the love and support that I have around me, makes life easier.
I still have more exams to come, but I'm hoping that things will ease of a bit, and the I'll have a chance to catch up with myself at the end of the exams before starting the next slog. Also that I will stop feeling so drained and tired all the time. I wanted to go to church on Sunday but didn't cos I felt so tired.
Hope that the positives have come through ok, because are are many, but I felt I had to voice the negatives so that I'm no longer carrying them on my own.
Ok, that's enough for now,
Until next time...
Clare xxx
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