Weak made strong

 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Isaiah 40:28-31

28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. 

Some of you may know that I had surgery in the middle of July. This went very well, but is taking sometime to recover from. I was signed up to help out at the Holsworthy Summer School which came two weeks after surgery, and I was deemed fit to work. Nearly 70 students from the local primary schools came to HCC to have some fun and learning and start preparing for September. I was looking forward to this and threw myself in. But… I forgot that I was only TWO weeks post op and that walking around the school site multiple times in a day may not be a good idea – which I learnt the hard way. By the end of Monday I was aching. When I spoke to a colleague about why I had to sit down, well, I got an earful and was politely told that I should have said something. But I was fine – in pain and discomfort – but fine. As humans we have a real problem with admitting weakness. For the rest of that week, I spent more time sat down, I got out of helping with PE (bonus!) and everyone was taking time to make sure that I was ok, so that I could do the best I could. And you know what, when you’re not worried about over doing it, you can get more stuck in!

During this time, I had the Hillsong song “Cornerstone” going round my head, particularly the line “weak made strong, in the saviours love”. But what does that mean, how does it make a difference? To be weak, to admit and show weakness, is hard. We are exposing part of ourselves that isn’t “shiney” and strong but instead revealing a vulnerability. In interviews, some people will try to pass of their weaknesses as strengths – “Oh, I’m an overworker” – because they don’t want to seem less than the other candidates by admitting flaws, or weaknesses. And its even worse when you’re approaching the almighty, all powerful God, the one who made everything, and is in everything. I don’t know about you, but I feel that I need to hide the “not good” things and the weaknesses and present my best self before God. Despite the fact that God is all knowing, he knows everything about me, and he’s all loving – he loves me, just the way I am, with my imperfections and weaknesses. And that doesn’t mean that I should stay that way, but it does mean that I don’t need to hide them.

I was really scared of letting people down at summer school, and despite several people telling me to take it easy, I felt that I had to play my part to not lose face. But God already knew that I was going to have surgery 2 weeks earlier, He knew what my recovery was going to be like, and He went before me. If I’d been able to trust that his Grace was enough and that I could be strong in him, I would have seen the team around me, the willingness and ability to work together and support each other. And I would have seen that God was ready to meet me where I was, not where I was pretending to be.

This pandemic may have felt like a time of weakness for you. A loss or change of routine and structure, a change of role, a grief over the inability to live life as you did before. Even the thought of coming back to church may have felt like a source of weakness – if everyone else can, why can’t I?

God want’s the best for us. In 2 Corinthians 12, God tells Paul that his Grace is sufficient and his power is made perfect in weakness. Paul didn’t have an easy life. He started off persecuting Christians only to meet the risen Jesus and start serving him. He faced imprisonment, persecution, disgrace and condemnation. Yet here is God telling Paul that, basically, God is bigger than that. By accepting weakness, Paul realised, and I’m trying to, that God’s full grace, glory and power can be seen in our lives. To embrace weakness, we have to drop any pretences and masks we hide behind, we have to step away from the façade that is hiding our truth from God, and through that acceptance, God can work in us, strengthening us, bringing us to a place of further wholeness.

The life cycle of a butterfly is fascinating, and kind of gross. When a caterpillar goes into its cocoon, it turns into a soup from which a butterfly is formed. It’s a messy and complex process. By admitting our weakness, we are taking a step further forward in being transformed into the image of God. We are saying that we can’t do this on our own. And God doesn’t care when we say it, whether it’s the second we realise we need help, or when we are on our – either literal or metaphorical – knees. God only want’s the best for us, not by protecting us from all harm, but being the strength we require to get through our challenges and become stronger in Him.

Going back to Paul, he says that he delights in weakness – why? Because it shows God’s power, through us. For those times when we can’t yet we still do, it shows the world that there is something more, that maybe this great dude in the sky is a bit more real than they admitted. But to show them this, we need to drop our shields, accept God’s love, and take his hand. When we are weak, we are made strong. God is there to catch us.

Jesus’ invitation to you today is this: Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

Turning 30

I'm writing this sat on my bed on the evening of my 30th birthday. It's strange to think how life is different now from ten years ago. I don't mean in the world, although this is true as well, but for me.

10 years ago, I was about to move to a new city and start university, for the first time, and since then my life has gone in so many directions. There are so many things that I have done, so many people that I have met, and sitting here now, at the beginning of the final year of my second degree, I could never have predicted that this is where I would have ended up. One day I need to document my Journey to this point, to see where God has led me, but this is a different story. Time is a strange thing, and Age is a lot less relevant to me now than it was 10 years ago. Back then the fact that I was 1 year older than most of my flat mates bothered me. Now I am 4 years older than one of my course mates and 9 years older than another, but this isn't an issue anymore.  I have realised that I have as much to learn from them as they have from me.

It's funny, when I was drafting this in my head, I had lots to say, now I'm typing it, it's all gone. I suppose the main thing that I have got from today is that it doesn't matter your journey, your history or your age, when you are surrounded by amazing people, who love you for who you are all of that has paled into insignificance. Today, I have felt so loved and blessed by those I am honoured to call friends and family. Today I have been reminded that I am loved, that I am worth something and that I have something to live for. Today, I may have turned 30, but you know what, that's just a number. What I'm going to do with this year, what God is going to with this year, is what is important! And hopefully, in 10 years time, when I look back on my 30's I'll be able to look back over as many adventures, laughter, friendships, love and the odd curve ball and see what is really important, God!

Take care,

Ruth

Who are you?

I used to spend huge amounts of my time comparing myself to others. I now spend a lot less. I've not sorted, but it's improving. I hate comparing my work with other peoples because I then feel like my work is inferior. I spent a lot of my school life wishing I was someone else, I was able to do what they did, and there was one person in particular who I measured my achievements to and always fell short. Do you know why? Because I wasn't them. 

Nothing I am going to write is news, but I need to tell it in my way. 

I'm 28, I have 1 and a 1/3 degrees (in Biochemistry and Applied Theology), a car and a bucket load of student debt. My brother is 25, engaged, working in a good job in retail having been working his way up since he was 16 to be an assistant manager. He has a car and a house, his debt is in the form of a mortgage. And I feel like the failure. So many of my school friends have partners, houses, children, and degrees. Yet here I am, earning next to nothing. Depressing isn't it? Well, when I write it like that it is. BUT I am me, I have my life, my gifts and skills. Does the spouse and the house really make a difference? I am so blessed to be where I am, to be able to afford a car and to be able to follow where God is calling me.

I was talking to someone at church today about my future. I have 2 more definite years at my placement before I meed to start looking around. I could end up anywhere. And I can go, where ever, when ever. I don't have to sell a house, up root a family or limit my options. I am ME. 

By comparing myself to someone else, by striving for their live, I'm going to miss living my own life. I am not perfect. I'm not the most intelligent person, but my essays are my own. I am proud of the work I submit, and when I get the mark back I know that I did my best and earned that mark. Who cares if someone else go higher? It's still a process, but God is doing so much. 

I see it in my faith as well though. I'm envious when someone gets a word from God through someone else, I wish that I got as many pictures from God as.... etc. I'm missing the point again though. On Sunday God used me in a service to bring my gifts and skills to the church. Nothing I did this morning couldn't have been done by someone else. But God choose me to do it. He gave a team of us different ideas that pulled together to make a service that we pray will encourage each other when things are hard. Hear me correctly, God did that hard work, we just delivered it and let God show through us. But my particular gifts led the service in one direction. Another team would have presented something different. And whilst I wish that someone would come and give me a word from God, I could well be missing the way that he is speaking to me directly. 

If we wander through life constantly looking at everyone else, if we try to measure ourselves against one another and wish that we were slightly different: taller, shorter, brainier, spiritually gifted, able to stand and speak in public, able to cook a very good barbecue, we will miss that we are who we are. We can change, we can learn, we can develop, but let it be for ourselves. 

Be who you are meant to be, because there is NO-ONE else like you!

Take care,

God bless,

Ruth

Still alive, still breathing

I've been thinking about this blog a lot recently, it's like an online, very public journal. A place where I can put thought and they may drift out into the world, and may never be read, but they're no longer confined to my head. 

This blog has been dormant for well over a year. No regrets there, I'm sure that there would have been plenty to write, but that's not the point. 

I have reached the end of my first year of my second degree. This blog went through my first degree so it might as well do the second one. As my previous post (Jan '14...) said, I am now training with SWYM. I took the leap to start a BA (Hons) degree in Applied Theology with Youth Ministry. I am loving it but it is so hard! It may surprise you to know that a science degree does not prepare you for theology. I have had to spend a lot of time rewiring my brain and changing how I think and write. I am grateful that it is all essay and presentation based and that there isn't a single essay in sight, except maybe the end of module feedback forms! (joke!) 

To be able to start to get my teeth into the Bible and into my own faith has been a real challenge. You go from accepting everything and going with it to questioning, often in a good way, why you believe what you've been told. We've had to tackle questions like "how literal is Genesis 1 and 2?", "is everything in the Bible historically accurate?", "is everything in the Bible God's word?". Tough, sometimes controversial, and mostly in my mind without firm answers. But what we're all (I think) coming back to is God Is Real. The Bible shows us who He is, and that is an amazing gift. We are wanting evidence and proof, my science background needs evidence for it to be true. When our evidence is proved wrong, such as some of the historical events, the world thinks they've disproved the existence of God. The books of the Bible were not written at the time of Twitter or Facebook or Google. Moses didn't tweet "still in the desert, manna not running out, lost, lol" (because I think Moses may have put a lol!), there wasn't even someone running after them with a parchment and quill "excuse me Moses, can you repeat that last line for me?". Our world today expects everything to be told as it happened, and for the most part it can. In tragic accidents it is become possible to piece events back together minute by minute. Is there not a possibility that errors crept into the accounts as they were told over time. Good men became great men and great men became like gods? This is all speculation, and not even something that I would necessarily fully agree with, but it's where my studies are starting to take me. 

If you've made it this far, well done. It wasn't meant to go quite in that direction! Life is treating me well and God is treating me better! 

For now that is all, but there are other thoughts rattling around, so hopefully this blog will awaken!

God bless,

Ruth

2013

Me again. 

It is the 1st January 2014, and I thought, as is common practice now, that I would write a reflection over the year that has just past. Plus, it seems like quite a good way to procrastinate from doing my assignments!

I'm not sure how this is going to work, so it may be a bit hit and miss.

Work

Probably the biggest change that has happened to me this year is my job. At the start of the year I was working as a secondary school science technician in a north Bristol school. It wasn't what I wanted to do with my life, but post-degree when the job market was a little thin on science jobs, it was as good as anything. I was entering my third year of doing the job, and finding it getting more and more stressful. When I'd started, I'd said that I wouldn't stay for more than two years, but that didn't quite work out. I worked with some great people, but the work and the school environment was getting tougher. 

Around March, I started looking at alternative jobs, and someone mentioned Ministry to me, church ministry. The idea initially terrified me, as I don't feel like I can preach, and ministry automatically means preaching doesn't it? As I thought and prayed more about it, and chatted to friends, I started to think about youth ministry, and training to become a full time youth worker. A SWYM (South West Youth Ministries) trainee was placed in my area. I got to meet him and have a chat with him about what SWYM was like. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that this was quite possibly my calling in life. Plus, this trainee kept pushing me to apply. 

So I did, and in May had an interview for the Be Transformed course. I had attended SWYM camps when I was younger and was slightly shocked to find out that the guy who heads SWYM up now recognised me, 10 years on! Anyway, I got a provisional place on the course, and was ready to hand in my notice. But I had to wait. Until I had a placement sorted, there was still a risk that I wouldn't be able to train and would remain a  science technician. 

Things were getting close to the end of the academic year and the deadline for handing in my notice. I had wanted to stay in Bristol. My life was now back in Bristol, and I didn't really want to leave, but after looking at the only suitable placement, it became clear that God had other ideas, and that I was going to move away. 

Things then moved very rapidly. I handed in my notice, without a placement, in the faith that God was going to provide. So I had no job, and no idea what I was doing in September. I got a call about some potential placements, and wanted to look at one in Torquay. The only problem being that I was going on holiday very soon after the term ended, and we wanted to get things sorted. We managed to arrange a visit and interview on the Sunday, when I was going away on the Monday. Talk about manic!! Dad and I drove down to Torquay, visited the church, met some of the congregation, went to a picnic that was rained off, then went back to Bristol ready for our holiday. Lets face it. After disappointments in the past, I wasn't getting my hopes up, but I had felt that things had gone well, and it was now in Gods hands. One week into the holiday the news came that they wanted me and I had a placement, hooray!! God provides. In September, I started my training course, and moved, in mid-September, to Torquay, Torbay, UK. That's another change that has happened this year. 

I'm so pleased that there are people in my life who encouraged me, and spoke to me about this. It is the right choice, and I am so happy. This is where God has called me, and the role he wants me to do. 

Home

As I have mentioned already I have moved. I was living with my parents in Bristol, mostly happy, but safe. I am now living on my own in a little two room bungalow, provided for by the church. It was, like my placement, a little hit and miss, and I did think that I would be starting my placement in a tent or on someone's floor. But during induction with SWYM everything fell into place!

It is a little weird living on my own at times. I have to remember to cook, shop and do my washing, along with everything else. But so far, so good! I do find myself talking aloud a lot though, and making more phone calls that I used to. 

Holiday

This years holiday was a big one. We had been planning it for a year, and was glad when it finally came about. My family go on canal boat holidays, as is tradition, but this years trip was a little bigger than other years. This year we boated around the London canals, up the rivers Lee and Stort, and ended with a trip up the tidal river Thames, from Limehouse basin to Brentford, past a lot of the iconic places, such as Tower Bridge, the London Eye, the Houses of Parliament, and Battersea Power Station. Going up the Thames requires a lot of planning, such as finding a boat company who would let us do it, making sure we had everything we needed: life jackets, serrated knife, VHF radios and licence, and lots and lots of rope! Plus, making notes of things to be aware of along the way. But it was all worth it. The passage was scary in places, and I don't think any of us are in a rush to do it again. Steering the boat yourself is very different to being a trip boat passenger.  But we can tick it off, and we have some great photos and memories. 

Car

Possibly a lot less interesting and significant change, but I brought a new car in February. The first car the I have ever brought. My first car was a 10 year old Renault Clio diesel, that used to be a driving school car, when my dad was a driving instructor. But it was getting old, and I had been told that there were a lot of expensive potential problems lurking, such as with the turbo, that were more expensive that the car was valued at. So I bit the bullet, and started looking. I found a nice Vauxhall Astra, and got rid of the Clio. That was a sad moment! But I now have a different car, that will hopefully get me about. 

I think that's it for now. Obviously, 365 days is a long time, and a lot has happened, from trying to get a friends fish tank home in the back of my car (it didn't fit, and we had to get my dad to help!), to a friends wedding, to many other things, I have only covered a small amount briefly. But I thought that it would be a good thing to do!

So that's it for now, who know's when I'll next be back!

God bless,

Ruth

How big is your family?

I come from quite a small family; I have my mum and dad, one brother, two aunts, one uncle, one cousin and one grandma. 

But I was realising today how lucky I am. I am a Christian, and that means that I am blessed with an extended family. Not just with my present church family, but also with members from my previous churches. The blessing that you receive from God through your church family does not necessarily end when you move on from that church. I have lost count of the number of Christians I include in my own "family", and the love that I feel, the support as I'm making decisions, fighting battles etc. 

Currently, I am looking at quite a big career change, I'm keeping details vague at the moment until things are a little more set in stone. But I found out today that the church that I grew up in is supporting me, praying for me, that I am still part of that family. This is the church that has helped me to this point, from becoming a Christian, helping me through some tough times whilst I was growing up, praying for me as I left for University, and through-out my university years, then supporting my decision and feeling to move on to a different church, with their blessing. And now, four years after moving on, they are still involved in my life, praying and supporting. 

This has all gone a little waffle-y, it made sense in the car home. But I guess what I'm trying to say, is that, no matter how large of small, normal or dysfunctional, your family is, you can always find a family in Christ, a group of people that God has lined up for you. And yes, there will be some "family" members that you never see, that you get together with for Christmas, or that you vaguely follow on Facebook or Twitter, (I do follow two of my family on twitter, one non-immediate family member). But accept the blessings that God wants to pour out through your family in Christ, because, more often than not, it will exceed your expectations, but meet your needs, as I mentioned in the last post. 

That's it now, I think.

Take care,

God bless,

Ruth x

Needs

I know that it has been forever (well nearly!) since I last posted, but I felt prompted to come home and write this, so we'll see how far I get before I have to go to sleep!

I was driving home from the youth club that I help at tonight, praying and chatting to God. (I have no idea what other car drivers think of me!) Rain started falling on my windscreen, and I said, out loud "why is it raining again?", when I had a thought. 

It's raining because God knows that plants need water, that birds, animals, us, all need water. Without water there would be no life. God is providing for the plants. He made the sun shine today so that the plants could create food. He made it rain today so that the plants had water. He made the bees and other insects so that the plants could reproduce, so that there would be more plants, more food for us, for animals. He provides what the plants need. A plant doesn't have to worry, to forage, everything is provided. 

So it is the same for us. Our God knows what we need, no, not the Ferrari, the millionaire husband and the jet set life, but the food, the water, the companionship and friendship, the shelter, the many, many other needs that we have. Two Bible passages came to mid the more I thought about it. The first is incredibly well known, from Psalm 23:

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.

The second is from Matthew 6:

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labour or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendour was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

With need, can come worry, the direction the second passage goes towards. Where am I going to get..., what about..., but God tells us to trust in Him and he will provide. As he was providing the rain for the plants this evening. 

And so I have seen it in my life. We were rejoicing at church tonight, that a family had found a house in the area that they wanted to move into, and that offers had been accepted on their house and this new house. God wanted them to move, so he provided for their need. 

God willing, I am hopefully moving on this September to start a full time training course to become a youth worker. But this means giving up all the roles that I am currently in. I am trusting the God will provide for me needs. But he doesn't just provide for my needs, but for the needs of families, friends, and Churches. Where there is need, he meets it. And he was showing me this again last Sunday. Someone who has been at our church for 6 months felt prompted to start with the children's work. Without either of us knowing it, she has been moved to a position where she can fill the role that I will be leaving in September. God was moving in this situation, moving people to fill needs, without us talking about it, worrying about it, he was there and provided. 

I know, deep in my heart that God is always going to be there for me. He will fulfil my needs, and will guide me to where I am needed, as part of His Church. I acknowledge that there will be times when worry and doubt may creep in, but I trust my God. He is in control, he sees the bigger picture, he sees needs I haven't even though of yet, and will be there with provision ready for me, for us, as one body. 

Sometimes we are the answer to need. Something we have, a skill, a possession, a situation, is the answer to another prayer. God can create something out of nothing, but He chooses to use us, and if we listen, and trust, he can use us to fulfil a need, just as he fulfils ours. 

I'm going to leave it there for now. This is more sermon-y that a lot of my previous blogs, but it is what I believe God wanted me to write.

God bless,

Ruth

Wait

I don't know if any of you have children, or have ever worked with children, but there is one thing that I've notice is difficult for them: waiting.

I do a variety of work with children, as a Beaver Scout leader (6 - 8 year olds) and Sunday School (4 - 11 year olds). I've lost track of the number of times that I have felt like I've been pulled in a hundred different directions when the children have all wanted my attention and I've only been able to deal with one at a time. And I've uttered the dreaded word: Wait. Something that is difficult to understand. They want to know why I can't help them that second, why they can have the thing that they've requested right now, why must they wait.

The same is true in my walk with God. Except this time, I'm the child wanting to know why this hasn't happened, or why I can't have that now. When will the perfect job appear, my career path be revealed, other issues much closer to my heart. Waiting is sometimes the hardest thing. I've learnt over my many years of walking with the Lord, that His timing is never wrong. There reason something didn't happen is because... I've needed to grow more, experience something, move somewhere else, learn patience (isn't that a hard one!!).

I follow someone called Louie Giglio on twitter, and recently he tweeted "Waiting is not wasted when we are waiting on the Lord. God works while we wait." Followed by "Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Psalm 27:14"

"God works while we wait": he is moulding us, challenging us, changing us to be more like Christ. Waiting is part of the long journey. What do you think a child would be like if they got everything they wanted straight away?

Christmas is only a week away, a time when we remember the birth of Christ. (On a side note, I was delighted that my Beavers seemed to know about the Christmas story, it's an important story that needs to be shared). Bit it is also a time for giving and receiving gifts. That period of time between Christmas eve, and Christmas morning seemed like such a long time, having to wait until you could find out what was hiding behind the coloured paper. The gift seems that much better if you've been able to wait, to have patience.

So we may not always see what is in our future, and why we must wait, but I trust and love God. I know he has my best interests at heart, so like the children that I work with, I must learn that my prayers and requests will be answered in time, just not always right now.

God bless,

Ruth x

Avoiding the most talked about topic of the day

I was going to write a blog post today, then I actually sat down to write it, and couldn't think of a thing to write. 


I could always revert to one of my favourite topics, Formula 1.


This week, Kimi Raikkonen announced that he was making a come back to Formula 1, about 2 years after he left to try new things such as WRC and NASCAR. I greeted this news with mixed feelings: I have followed Kimi's career since 2001, when he was a rookie, driving for Sauber and making quite an impression on the bosses at Mclaren, and myself. It was with joy, excitement and tension that I watch him have good races and bad races, and get with in touching distance of a World title in 2005, before he lost it to Fernando Alonso. 


Then in 2007, he final won the World Championship, much to the disappointment of British fans everywhere, as Lewis Hamilton lost it by 1 point in the final race. I remember watching the race back in second year. It was an afternoon race, and one of my housemates and I decided that we would be late to church, just so that we could see live the end of the championship. I couldn't believe it when Kimi won, and then we had to leave, arriving at church just in time for the sermon I think. I also think that one of the guys on the sound desk has also been following the race so that most of the congregation knew the result before we got there. 


You know what, having go this far I have no idea whether I blogged about Kimi winning at the time or not. Ah well, I'll carry on anyway. 


Things didn't go so well for Kimi in following years, and it wasn't much of a surprise when, despite still being in contract, an opportunity opened up in World Rally Championship for him and he took it. 


And now he's back! I love the reaction I get when I tell people at motor sport event or motor sport fans, like my former driving instructor that I'm a Kimi fan, they groan, and dispaire. Why when we have great British talent, did I choose a bloke who in a lot of peoples opinions has no personality and barely opens his mouth when he talks? To be honest, back in 2001, I picked up my dads Formula 1 magazine and just looked through to find who I thought most interesting (or cute, knowing me at that age...). And followed him ever since. 


When he left the sport, he did an interview discussing who he tipped as a future World Champion. He suggested this young gun, a kid as he was when he first started who'd managed to make quite an impression early on. Now two years on, and 2 World Championships under his belt, you can see that Kimi's judgement of Sebastian Vettel was correct. I just hope that his judgement to come back to Formula 1, with all the barriers that can face any driver coming back will have, is the right one.


And who will I support? If Kimi and Sebastian happen to be fighting for a win, who would I want to win? Hmm...


There you go, a whole blog about Kimi, sorry for that. I hope that one person manages to make it to the end :)


And I didn't mention the strike once... oops!


Take care,


God bless,


Ruth x

Recently I've mostly been...

Well hello! I'm still here.


I've been thinking (no insults please!), and I came to a conclusion: when I first set up this blog, at the insistence of a few of my friends, it was to keep people updated on what has been happening. Most of my readers then were the people regularly mentioned in my posts because they were there. Now that I'm further away from most of my friends, now is the time that I should be using more. Admittedly I think that my life is a lot less interesting, and my spelling has got worse(!!), there are still plenty of things that I could blog about.


For instance, I am now regularly helping with the church youth club every Thursday. We get anything from 6 youth, to 25+ coming along, mostly from the estate our church is based on, coming along to play pool, video games, air hockey or just hang out, with a short "God Spot". 


I am now driving, having passed my test in February, and am very grateful, that without too much traffic, my 1 hour 35 minute bus journey, has dropped to about a 40 minute drive, in the warm. 


I finally have a pet, after a lot of begging during my younger years, I went out in May with two friends to at pet shop, and came back with an eight week old Syrian hamster, who I names Tiberius. If I ever get another I'm choosing an easier name, like Joe, as my hamster is regularly called Tibs out of laziness!! He's a lovely hamster, who will constantly try to escape given half a chance and bite me if I don't pay attention... but his antics are very entertaining, even if it did cause a few sleep disturbed nights in the beginning with a squeaky wheel.


Some things haven't changed. I am still Formula 1 mad, even if I now support that unknown up and coming 24 year old (how can a 2 times World Champion be younger than me?) Sebastian Vettel. 


I'm still working as a science technician at a school, with all the madness that can come with it, as well as the strange requests. I bought 5kg of salt and a few bars of chocolate early on Thursday morning and Friday saw me grating chocolate, and making fake urine! What a combination!! 


The Beaver Scout colony at which I'm the Assistant leader is doing well. Six to eight year olds can really tire you out though! We recently has a Doctor Who in Space themed sleepover with two other groups, involving a lot of craft, and plenty of glue on the tables, chairs and floors, and lots of outdoor activities. On the night hike only one person fell over...me! How embarrassing. The good thing was that the Beavers had a good time, and were tired at the end, not just us adults.


I miss a lot of the social life that came with being at University. I don't have as many friends that live near here in Bristol, but having a car does help! An I don't see my friends who are living in places around the country as much as I would like. 


I'm going to attempt to post at least once a week, that shouldn't be too ambitious I hope, just to keep everyone informed. It's also nice to have a record so that I can see what I have done, and how God is working in my life. I'm in a supportive church, where I'm starting to feel like I'm part of it, not just an outsider, and I'm anticipating that next stage of my life that He has in store, where ever or whatever it may be!


Take care,


God Bless,


Ruth x

School trips

On Friday, I was lucky (hmmm...) enough to be asked to go on a school trip with the year 7 & 8 science clubs that I help out with. The trip was to a science fair hosted as part of the STEM clubs group (STEM is science, technology, engineering and math, as I discovered!). The fair was an opportunity to show what we had been doing over the past year and meet (and steal ideas from) other schools also involved. Also there were the MoD, the institute of physics, an aeronautics group (involved in the flying start challenge our year 9's took part in) and the Bloodhound team with the scale model of the car they hope will break the land speed record!

It was great fun and good to "network" but it was also slightly strange. It's the first time I'd been on a school trip in over 5 years and the first time I was there as a "responsible adult" (gulp!). It was a chance to get to know two of my collegues better as there was a fair bit of waiting around, and a rock physics lecture (about the physics of rock music, not stones), taken by a Dr Lewney, where Becky and I were in our element! It was also impressive (I think that's the best word) that one of our kids managed to get the number of a girl from one of the other schools!!

I'd been having a rather bad week at work, so being able to do science, get ideas and relax a bit more than normal and get paid for it was a real relief. Next time though, can we leave the kids behind?? Actually, next year I think that it's our turn to plan and host it...we have quite a challenge ahead of us!

We also had a bit of excitment today. One of the year 7 science club projects has been hatching chicken eggs. For the past three ish weeks we'd had these eggs incubating in our prep room, and had pretty much given up all hope of them hatching. The school doesn't have the best track record. So imagine my surprise and excitement when one of the teachers simply said this morning "aparrently it'll be ok to move the two chicks into the incubator in a bit." wow!! Over the weekend four of the chicks had hatched!! And they are totally adorable, but really distracting as they sit and cheep on the side! One of them has a bit of a dodgy leg so has been removed of extra special treatment but the others are all healthy. Now we need to name them...! Any ideas?



That's it for now,

Clare xx

6 Months

I have been meaning to up date this blog about 2 or 3 times since October, but seem to have got distracted by everything else. Really sorry, I'm not going to make any promises about blogging more regularly, as I'm not entirely sure what to blog about. I can keep putting up my news, but is there more that I can use this blog for?

News time then. I am now employed, as a Science Technician in a South Gloucestershire school. I started back in November, (2nd November to be precise!) and I'm finding it great. There are stresses that come with working in a school, no money left in the budget, teachers changing their minds 5 minuets before they need equipment, and kids coming and disturbing us regularly because they need a pen or pencil! But the staff are great. I'm part of a team of 5 technicians, which is higher than most schools, one of whom is part time. We get on, have a laugh and still manage to get the work done. The teachers are also great, as long as you don't catch them in a highly stressful situation. Of course two great things about working in a school are fixed holidays, and every weekend off!

I am still involved in the Bristol Nights project, going out once every 6 weeks to give tea and coffee to anyone in the city centre who is around between midnight and 3 and would like one. A few months back, our generator broke down, it was spitting out sparks and plumes of black smoke, so we were having to use gas to boil our kettles, which slowed the process down slightly. It also meant that we haven't had any external light available. But we managed. The good news is that a new generator arrived in Bristol a few weeks ago, and is being installed on the bus. So we're praying that installation goes well, and we can have electricity when we next go out on the 10th April.

I'm going to stop there, I was hoping to finish on something interesting and thought provoking, but there's nothing that springs to mind right now, but who knows, I may be back soon with something more interesting!

Take care and God bless

Ruth xx

Two Weddings, a Whole Lotta Laughing and a Birthday!

So I have a lot to tell you, September was busy.

I was privileged (I think that's the right word), to be invited to two weddings this September. They were both lovely weddings, and I wish both couples all the best for the future. I'm not sure what else to put for this part, this is the biggest problem with leaving the blog for ages!

I was very lucky to be given a ticket to go see Michael McIntyre, in Portsmouth for my birthday :) It was such a fun evening, not just seeing him live, but spending time with some of my lovely friends. Michael was so funny, really worth seeing live, and with jokes that we kept repeating throughout the rest of the night. It turns out though, that he was live in Bristol the night before!! But it wouldn't have been as much fun on my own. I also went to see the Bristol Comedy Gala, later in the month. This was to celebrate the re-opening of the Colston Hall, and to showcase some of Bristol talent, and beyond. The evening was, dare I say it, better than Michael McIntyre, but that was probably because there was a wide range of comedians, including Russell Howard, and ending with Justin Lee-Collins. The evening was long, just under four hours, but well worth it. There were some jokes that would have been lost on anyone who wasn't from Bristol, such as Peter Andre's signing at Asda, Bedminster.

As the title suggests, there was a birthday. I turned 23 at the end of September, and a lot of my friends are now taking great pleasure in calling me old... :(! I was back in Pompey to celebrate that with more of my friends, and I was able to go back to King's Church. I really do miss that place and all of my friends there, I'm going to try to make more of an effort to visit more often, I just need to find somewhere to stay!!

And finally, (these are turning into a news report :S), I have a job!!! On the 2nd November, I will be starting work as a laboratory technician at Mangotsfield School. It's maybe not where a lot of people would recommend I go, but it feels like a good place, and should be an exciting challenge!

That's it!

Take care,

Ruth xxx

Remember me?!

Ok, it's been three months since I last posted, and so much has happened that I want to catch you up on, so I'm going to divide the post into sub-headings to make it easier to miss out the boring bits!

University
I have officially finished my degree, after much stress, tears and some hard work. I graduated at the Guildhall, on the 17th July with an upper second award in BSc (Hons) Biochemistry. University has been such a life changing experience. I have learnt so much, both academically, but also it has given me life skills, I can now use a washing machine! Plus I have made so many new friends, people who I hope to still be friends with when we are all old and grey and our university days are a dim and distant memory. But that chapter of my life has closed now, I will probably still visit, but my world will be a slightly different one now.

Silverstone
My parents paid for me to go to the British Formula One Grand Prix this year. If you don't know I am fanatical about the sport, and unlike most British fans, I follow Kimi Raikkonen. My aunt and uncle go most years, as they live fairly close to the circuit, so let me tag along. What a weekend! There is something about fast cars that I find really exciting. And to see these cars and drivers that you are used to seeing on the small screen actually on the track was fantastic. We were in a Grandstand, so had quite a good view of the corner where we were. I took too many photos, but that didn't matter. The atmosphere, the noise, I can't describe it. Most people were supporting Button this year, and would stand up and cheer during the parade lap as he came past. The only downside was the early starts, I was exhausted by the end of the weekend. It was about a half hour walk to our stand from where we had parked, but I am so glad that I had the opportunity.

Holiday
The day I got back from Silverstone, I was off again for two weeks of canal boating with family and one of my University friends. This year, mostly at my request, we did the Kennet and Avon canal and the river Avon. This included coming back into Bristol, which was great fun and gave me a chance to see my brother and show my friend how much Bristol has changed. We had a great time, with only one really wet day, the day we went up the Caen Hill flight of locks, near Devizes. We generally had really nice weather, very hot, which gave us more time to explore the areas we stopped at. We had such a great time, we had started planning the next holiday before we had given the boat back. We are writing a narrative log for the holiday, if anyone is interested in the details of the trip!

Family
Due to the joys of no money, whilst I find a job, I'm back living at home. I moved all my stuff back at the end of term. When I moved down in first year, I fitted everything into a Volvo estate. By the end of third year, we used a transit van. So you can imagine how much stuff I now have. To complicate issue slightly, my brother unexpectedly moved back home. It was a bit of a shock to the system, to get used to all of us back at home, but we're getting back into the routine.

Church
Having come back home, it made sense to go back to my home church, the church I've been at since I was 7, and who have supported my during my early Christian development. However, before coming home I was starting to feel that it was time to move on, and after much prayer, this has been confirmed. Given that I haven't regularly been to my church, I'm not sure this is much of a surprise for some people. Last week, I went to a different church, River of Life, based in Hartcliffe. It's further away than my present church, but is on the way to my dads church. This in itself suggests that this is all part of God's plan. I received a really warm welcome, and felt at home. This week I met up with one of my elders for a chat, someone who has been like a second mother to me. She was very supportive of my and believes that this is the right choice for me. I will keep you posted as to where I end up. Can you keep me in your prays, that I will make the right, God led choice.  

Jobs
Right, jobs. Now that I've graduated, I've got to start the fun old process of job hunting...yay! I have already found and applied for three jobs, one of which I got an interview for. It's not looking good for the other two jobs, so I'll keep looking. Eventually I'll have to widen my search, but at the moment, I want to find a science based job. Ah well, I'll keep looking, and hopefully something will turn up.
 
Banksy
As you may be aware, Banksy, famous graffiti artist, opened an exhibition at the city museum and art gallery. Due to popular demand, that queues have been up to 3 hours at times. We decided that it was too good an opportunity to miss. After one and a half hours we were in. It was a great exhibition, well worth looking around. There was one area which was solely his work, but if you looked carefully, you might spot the little touches that he had made to the rest of the exhibition, like new paintings. If you get the chance, its worth going, even if you have to queue.

Right, that was a brief update. I will really try to go back to regular posting! But not promises!!

Ruth xx (I now seem to be back to my birth name!)

Back Again

As you will have noticed, this blog has been very quiet again. Whenever I come to write a post I get distracted, or remember something else I need to do.

Life has been hectic with all the work I have on. I'm into the final push now. Term ends, forever, on the 5th June, my dissertation has to be in 11th/12th May, plus I have two posters to do, and all my revision for exams which start the last week of May. And now I've scared myself with it all!!

I am back in Bristol for Easter, and torn between wanting to see my friends, and the knowledge that I have all that work. Plus the Easter weekend will be fairly busy with a variety of events and services to commemorate and celebrate the sacrifice made for us on the first Easter weekend.

I still have very unformed plans as to what I will do when I graduate (ceremony is the 17th July), so I am constantly praying into that.

I hope that there will be another post before I graduate, but I can't promise anything. Now I have to go to Sainsburys to buy food!

Take care,
God Bless

Clare/Bristol xxx

Tonsillitis

I don't seem to be having much luck at the moment. I started feeling ill last week, but passed it off as a virus, the main symptom being a really sore throat. Over the weekend I went to the pharmacist who told me I should see a doctor. It turns out, as the title suggests, I have tonsillitis. Ow!

In other news, it's the Intensified weekend away with King's next week, which I am really looking forward to! Steve came to visit last week. It was good to see him and included a meal and quiz at King's to launch the student meal, which was fun!

There's really not been much else happening!

Hope you're all well!

Clare xxx

Sorry

I've been incredibly bad at updating this, woops! If there's anyone still reading, thanks for hanging in there.

It has been crazily busy recently, I had my exams about 3 weeks after coming back from Christmas, so most of my time has been spent preparing for them. I only have two exams to sit in the rest of my degree, scary. Deadlines seem to be rushing at me, work piling up, and it's getting harder to catch my breath.

I spent the weekend in Reading, seeing Ben, Dan and Kita. It was so good to be able to stop, not think or worry about the work I had to do. The friendships that we had built over the last two years made it easy to slip into the familiar banter etc.

I think I'm fully starting to realise how much this period of our lives is a time of change and development. People are getting engaged and married. Some of us are closing in on graduation and the scary world outside of the university environment. It's a time when we move around, find out feet and build on the foundations of our formative years. It's when we make the friends for life, and the decisions that go along way to shaping our future. When I was at primary school, we had to write our autobiography. It was a little difficult at 11 to really understand what it meant to grow up. Here we were writing about our secondary school, the G.C.S.E's we got, the A levels we did, our university degree and our futures. I think I got married and had 3 children, and I studied to be a doctor specialising in sports injuries (I don't even know if I could have done that!!). I was treating the F1 drivers of the future. I didn't have any idea about what Biochemistry was, and looking back on it now, I've just realised God played very little role in my "life".

Oh how different reality is. God is a massive focus in my life. My doctor ambitions kinda fell through when my A levels weren't quite as good as the should have been (ok, they were no where near...). I am still vaugly considering getting involved in F1, but I think its a slim to zero chance, and not actually where I want to go. I may still end up in the NHS tho! I don't want 3 children anymore, but at the same time, I hope that I will be contented with as many or as few children as God choses for me (not that I want any right now, just in case you're getting worried...). I know have a better idea of what life is actually like, proper grown up life, and it still scares me, even though I'm taking tentative steps into this world of being a "responsible adult" (adult, gah, not yet, can't I wait a few years...?).

I can't remember if I've mentioned it, but I now have a mentor through church. It's been so good to have someone I can meet up with and chat God with, all the different things in my life, the struggles and the triumphs. It helps me keep balanced and focused. There are certain issues that I am struggling with letting go at the moment, but I have very much felt that I need to to move on and get where I need to be. (ok that was kinda vauge, but I hope you know what I mean).

Right I'm going to stop there before I go anymore crazy. It was more thoughtful that I was intending, but hopefully someone will read it!

God bless,

Night all,

Clare (Bristol/Ruth/Brian) xxx

Long time no chat,

so how are you all out in the blog world? (I know I haven't blogged in agessss, again, rubbish I know, i am very sorry about that! There is no excuse!!)

I have, unfortunately, been ill for the past two weeks, a really bad cold, but something that refused to get better. My supervisor told me to take the time off, so I haven't worked on my project for two weeks, and term ends next week...ah!! But I'm confident that everything will work out. I just need to get better!!

God has been very good to me over the last month. First, I received a message from one of my old school friends, reminding me of a conversation that we once had about Christian rock music. He had found a song, All the Words, by Kutless that he loved, but was very surprised to find out, on more research, that the band were in fact Christian. For some reason, and I'm really not complaining, he decided to share this story with me, which was awesome! The song is a song that I've found really inspiring, so I'm grateful to him for that as well. It's strange how God works isn't it!

We had a really good God time at cell a few weeks ago, talking about the gift of the profetic. The session ended with a prayer time asking for words for the other group members, which was awesome. Every member got at least one word. The words for me were very true, and helpful. I love how God works.

In another random event, I went to a church in Swindon a few weeks ago with a friend, to support them at their first visit to this church, in fact any church in a long time. It was a privalage to be able to go with them and provide the support. They were crazy enough to drive and pick me up so that I could go, as well as drive me back at the end of the day. Absolutely mental!! I had a fun time, and enjoyed the church. I was impressed with how welcoming they were, but was slightly surprised by the 2 minute break beween the worship and the talk, that was new on me!

Also, last Thursday, instead of cell, a group of us took mince-pies into halls to wish people a merry Christmas (yes, because it is nearly Christmass, somehow...not sure where November went, I think I blinked and missed it!!). We were also offering to do students washing up. People were either surprising clean and had already done it(!) or didn't want us to see the mess, and let us do it for them. Rachael did pray for one girl with a cold, and we had a couple of good chats, steming from the "why on earth would you want to do someone elses washing up?" question. I really pray that some seeds were planted in people, and that they remember us and think more about out motives.

I now have all of my coursework back, and was amazed by one piece in which I got 82%, I'm not sure how it happened, but I was overjoyed!! The rest of my work was good, but not quite as stunning.

I'm now looking at what next, after graduation, and that is a massive maze to get through, with so many options, and requirements, deadlines, etc to fight through. I am really praying into where I should go, but it's still going to be a lot of work. I know I will end up where God wants me if I listen to Him.

I really feel like I have missed something, this is why I should blog more regularly!! Woopsie!

I shall wrap up there, I really don't feel like I have done God justice in this post, but I hope and pray that His awesomness will still come through this post, and my blog, and my life!

God bless

Bristol xxx

Busy Week

Hello again,

I've just completed my first week of project research, which was really good if a little tedious. There are two of us try to use the same piece of equipment so we can be a little limited as to what can be achieved in a day. I am working on the BIACORE machine, using SPR (surface plasmon resonance) to detect binding of small molecules to a protein. There is a lot of set up that has to be done first, such as checking the right pH levels (pH scouting, which I have completed for the RNase E E. Coli molecule, but still have to do for the RNase E TB molecule) and finding the correct buffers, so as not to make the protein too unhappy. Toni, I will be working with HPLC in a few weeks I think, so I am not fully sure of the methods used yet, as I still need to be trained on the machine. Just in case you're wondering, (most of you probably aren't!) I have also been studying the turning on and off of genes, and embryo development, including a practical in a few weeks cutting up a chick embryo.

In other news, I've had a really good God week. I asked if Adam (Blade) could find me someone to mentor me through this year, as I feel that it is something I really wanted to do, and would be good to have that extra support. I met her on Sunday, and she is lovely. We had our first "proper" chat on Monday evening over coffee, and it was really good! I found it incredibly helpful, and I had space to think and hear God. Things had got a little...foggy, over the past few weeks, and after letting some stuff go, it was really good to feel God's presence everywhere in my life.

I'm settling into the house well, and getting back into the swing of fending for myself, kind of. My clothes are mostly clean and I haven't starved yet!!

Last weekend I paid a trip up to see Ben, Dan and Nikita in Reading. It was great to arrive on the Friday evening, and feel like old times again. I miss it, but realise that the friendships I've made may be sightly different, they are still as strong as the were. The one problem I've found with going to Reading was that I always end up bringing back more than I went with, and that usually means I've been shopping :S but it's still fun!! Ben and I met up with some of the King's guys who had gone up for a conference, and came back with them on the Saturday night, so Ben could see Portsmouth people. And annoyingly they are renovating the lock near Ben's house on the Kennet and Avon canal, so I could go sit on the balance beam as I wanted...so I'm going to have to pay another trip to see them just to do that :P.

Finally, if anyone can help me make sense of miRNAs that would be appreciated! I have a paper analysis to write by next Friday, and I am totally lost in my subject!!

God bless,
Clare xxx (Or Bristol, as I seem to now be in the house!!!)

Major woops!

I seriously hadn't realised how long it had been since my last post, but the answer is quite a while, my bad!

I've officially started year 3 (argh!! How did that happen?), moved out of Stansted Road ( :( ), moved into my new house, with 4 other girls (3 from church, one on my course), turned 22 (!) and been on holiday (on the canals in and around Birmingham! Great fun, but stupidly early starts for a holiday!).

It's been an emotional time. I found moving back here much harder than I expected. I've become close to two of my friends from back home, so I think that played a factor in my homesickness. But I think the biggest factor was that I was really scared about starting year 3, my final year, the big one! I felt, (and still does a little) like I was standing on the edge of a huge dark abyss. I couldn't see the bottom, or the other side, and there in front of me was a tiny white line, or tightrope that I had to walk across, with the knowledge that one wrong step and I would fall and fail. But I've started walking. My big fears are all turning out to be stupid. Yes, it is going to be a very hard year, but as long as I am sensible, do my work, not sit around blogging all the time (!), and most importantly, trust God, I will succeed. I won't just get through, I'll do well.

I am also realising how blessed I am by all the amazing people I have around me, who I am proud to call friends. There are some who I don't get to see all the time any more, but who are still supporting me. But there are others who are here, at church, in my house and on my course, who are all so amazing. I hope that I can be as great a friend back as they are to me.

This is a very serious blog today, but in a good way. And just think, it could be worse, and I was writing about telomers or HPLC.

On a random side note, I now have a deviantart account, where I have posted some of the pictures I have drawn over the past few years, some really reacent, some much older. The address is: http://roofster86.deviantart.com/

So I'm back! And I will attempt to update this at least once a week.

Clare xxx